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Devoted sex journalist that I am, when I heard that Seeking was hosting its first-ever Sugar Baby Summit, offering an afternoon of seminars for both beginners and masters of the Sugar lifestyle, I eagerly accepted the invitation to attend.
Who would pass up on a day of that followed by an evening of people-watching at an awkward dating mixer? Sugaring, in case you're new to the sweet life, is a type of relationship/lifestyle in which a Sugar Baby (SB) "provides companionship in exchange for being pampered," while a Sugar Daddy (SD) "pampers Sugar Babies in return for companionship." "Pampering" is obviously a broad term, and can include explicitly negotiated financial compensation — like an allowance, tuition payments, or an investment into a Sugar Baby's business venture — or simply gifts, trips, and other treats.
But only once you've explicitly discussed your needs, desires, and expectations, and established boundaries and consent.
And these vital concepts in power play were completely glossed over at the Sugar Baby Summit in a misguided effort to make the Sugar lifestyle seem "accessible" and "mainstream."For example, representatives from the website constantly obsessed over how the site was kept "PG." It was very clearly their intent to de-stigmatize Sugaring, and bring it into the light as a fun, exciting, sexy way to play, away from the shady taboos that are often associated with it.
Men do the same thing, but they get more opportunity because of their privilege.One of the site reps chalked this up, in part, to some gender-biased language in the first email blast sent out about the event, which was later changed to be more inclusive. I asked if there were any plans for LGBT mixers or "gender swapped" summits in the future, and was met with a response that irked me, both as a feminist and as a queer woman.Site rep Brook Urick tells Bustle:"It wouldn't really be cost efficient or warranted to have an event for just male or just LGBT [Sugar Babies]."Companionship" is an equally broad term, which can range from explicitly negotiated sexual contracts, to casual dating, to a monogamous relationship, to being a married Daddy's secondary partner.The Sugar Baby Summit seminars included important SB how-tos like style and beauty tips, Internet safety, and a funds management session hosted by (I kid you not) a former Romney-Ryan campaign staffer.
I mean, only 10 percent of the population is gay, so only about five percent of our site is gay ...