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Ultimately, you may be happiest with somebody who has a sexual history that is at least on the conservative side. There is such a thing as other factors out-weighing the sexual history factor (like the fact that they’re crazy about you and complete you in every other way…that does happen).
You can throw everything else on this list away if you don’t marry the person. The sole purpose of pre-marriage relationships are personal growth and companionship. Don’t blow what may end up just being some good fun by trying to take it too seriously too fast.
I’m sorry for being so snippy.” Approach the discussion as if this was completely your problem, not theirs…. And now you’ve got only a faceless sea of everyone else to potentially date.
It’s something that you’re dealing with that is really no fault of their own. Afterall, they were probably expecting to have this conversation with you at some point. It’s like a million, torturous images keep flashing through your head, and your own imagination keeps inventing all new horrors for you. Now, compared to the sexual history of , maybe theirs wasn’t so bad at all. Next to them being gone from your life entirely, this stuff about their past isn’t really a big deal. Note that this point will become instantly and painfully clear when/if you actually do break up.
Secretly, your anger won’t be satisfied until you’ve brought them around to your way of thinking and shamed them for the times they stepped away from it. In fact, they their past, or your plan will work and they will feel really horrible about it. If they start defending their past, it’s going to push the two of you farther apart.
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On the other hand, if they start feeling guilty about their past, then they didn’t deserve the beating you gave them.
They’re a person who really wants to make you happy and to be with you, and you feel bad for hurting them over something they can’t control now.
In a way, it feels like they cheated on you (and you can’t get it out of your head).
Unfortunately for them, they didn’t cheat on you, but they get treated as if they did.
If you let all of your hurt, anger, and sense of injustice build up inside of you, you’re going to take it out on them whether you intend to or not. You’ll get irritable and won’t tell them what’s wrong.