Warning sign about dating
However all too many people ignore the clear warnings and get married -- and, the elders tell us, live through a horrendous period (or even an entire married life), suffering the consequences of that dumb decision.
Sifting through hundreds of responses, I learned about four warning signs that should make you very reluctant to commit to a relationship.
However I tried to convey their advice on this issue, behind me I could hear these wise elders shouting this lesson to younger people: Over and over, when it comes to marriage the elders point to decisions that completely ignore the evidence and show bad judgment.
They believe there are a set of signs so strong and compelling that they tell you to get out of the relationship.
On this issue, the elders are unequivocal: If your partner hits you or tries to hurt you in any way, get out.
They are a diagnostic tool for deciding whether your marriage needs a fix (or an exit strategy).
Clearly, dishonesty to you is a probably deal-breaker.
As Pamela, 91, warns: All the sudden not coming home. Trust is a big issue and once you lose that, it's very difficult to regain. They believe that these are all warning signs of dishonesty that will spill eventually into your relationship.
Somebody who is persistently, consistently, always sarcastic and critical, that should have been a warning sign to me that I was dealing with somebody who couldn't function very well in the world. It demeans the other person, that kind of mocking behavior.
So I think that's something that a young person can look for -- this profound kind of sarcasm. It's supposed to be kidding, but it's a good warning sign, because it really devalues the other person.
We were walking up the stairs and he took a whole bunch of change out of his pocket and he said some terrible things and threw all of his money down the stairs because he was very angry that we had missed the train.